*So....I'm going to be asking for a little audience participation on this one. Please, please oblige me (just this once...lol).
Have you ever been in a situation with no clue of what to do? In the moment your mind is reeling and you're desperately trying to figure out how to act or what to say. Of course, later on when you're far removed from the stress of the situation, a million things pop into your head as to what you should have said or what you should have done?
Well, that happened to me yesterday, except I am still unclear as to what I should have said or done. I just kept thinking, "Come on, Josie! Think! What would Jesus do?" But to my chagrin, I came up woefully and hopelessly blank.
Here's the scenario:
I am currently doing contract, project-driven work. It's not steady, but for the time being it is my Brook Cherith (see 1 Kings 17:2-6), so I'm not complaining (out loud). I started a new project last week and found out that one of my former co-workers (let's call her Beth) from a previous state agency job was also working there. Beth was not a person with whom I spent much time or exchanged much conversation. Quite frankly, I did not care for her brusque speech and condescending manner.
This past January, a little more than a year after I left the agency, I had an opportunity to interview for my old job. I had a seemingly great interview with the agency Director. A few days later, however, I was unceremoniously told that someone else was hired. Not long after that, I found out that Beth had the ear of the new Director and she convinced him not to hire me by telling him that I was neither a good attorney nor a good worker. That revelation hurt me because I was in need of full-time, steady employment, but more so because her statements were categorically untrue.
Since I'm not one to gossip, I will spare you the irrelevant, though terribly scintillating, intervening events and jump to yesterday. Up until yesterday, I had been able to avoid Beth...but as I was returning from the common break area, there she was, not 25 feet away from my workspace...and I had to walk by her. I did NOT want to engage in conversation, but there was no way to walk by her without her noticing me. The only thing I could think to do was to pull out my Android phone and pretend to be fascinated by its blank screen.
As I passed her, I could see in my periphery that she turned her head in recognition. I quickened my pace. Then I heard my name, just above a whisper. I walked even faster, hoping she would abandon her attempt to engage me. Instead, she yelled my name. Now I had NO choice but to turn around. What happened next is the single most painfully awkward mini-conversation I have ever had in my entire life. She was very bubbly and seemed truly happy to see me, but all I could think was, "You hypocrite! You cost me a job and have the nerve to smile in my face!" I could not match her enthusiasm. I couldn't even muster the strength to fake it. I just blinked at her, watched her smile fade, then abruptly turned and walked away.
When I got back to my workspace, I thought, "Ugh! I blew it! That was not Christlike or forgiving." Sadly, I'm not even sure what Jesus would have said or done in that situation, but I do get the sense that what I did wasn't it. To my great shame, I missed an opportunity to be Christlike yesterday. The words of Eph. 4:20 haunted me: "But you have not so learned Christ."
As Christians (and I'm really talking to myself here), we are imitators of Christ. We ought to be so familiar with our Lord and Master that even when we are confronted with unpleasant and awkward situations, we display His love, compassion and forgiveness first. That is what we learned of Christ. It isn't easy, it's not convenient and if yesterday's mishap is any indication, it is not natural. But it's right.
In all that we say and do, let us remember what we learned about Christ and endeavor to be instant in season and out (2 Tim. 4:2).
*Now for the audience participation part: tell me, what would have been the Christlike thing to do in that situation? And what should I do now?
Wow! That' a difficult situation, but you already know that. It's easy for me to suggest other ways of handling it, but I'm not dealing with the person or the struggle with your emotions. Having said that, maybe Jesus would congratulate her on her new job. As to what to do now...if you see her again perhaps you can apologize for how you acted when you saw her, and then congratulate her on her new job. Then trust the Lord to defend you. It sounds simple, but on your end I know it's very hard.
ReplyDeleteUgh....i just knew someone would suggest that i should apologize...i know you are right, but it is SOOOO hard and SOOOO inconvenient (you should hear how whiny my voice is right now!).
Deletelol...so i just sent an extensive e-mail with several suggestions. I agree you should apologize for how you acted the other day, but I think you should also confront her about why you acted like that and explain that chatty work colleagues is not an option for the two of you... :) Perhaps, that's not very "Christian" either, but sometimes truthfulness helps us avoid future awkwardness.
ReplyDeletesaw your email...read it. confront her? explain why i acted the way i did? now who's being the "inconvenient friend"? lol.
DeleteWhile the way you acted wasn't a witness to Christianity, you didn't say anything mean to her either. Sometimes the Lord uses silence as a way for the Holy Spirit to work in the other person. I would give it to the Lord right now and give it some time, and see what happens. I think apologizing and confronting her will only stretch it out. Pray for her and let the Lord work in both of you.Only the Lord knows what's going on in her mind, so we shouldn't be telling you what to do. You already repented of it, so the Lord will take care of the rest....whether its leading you to talk to her or not.
ReplyDeleteThanx sooooo much. I am praying about it....I just wish I was more Christlike in the moment. Smh...
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