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Showing posts from 2020

I See You

As I get older, it has gotten harder to celebrate Mother's Day. So I stay silent. In public spaces, I mean. Of course, I celebrate my mother and all of the strong mothers around me, but the day is a profound reminder of the things that I thought I would have by now and don't. I chose not to say anything on Mother's Day because that is unfair to all of the celebrants. Also, I didn't want to appear ungrateful to the people that wished my a "Happy Mothering Day" because of the mothering I do for so many, or a "Happy God-mother's Day" because of my god-children. I appreciate all of that I do. But it's difficult for me you see...When I was in my 20s, I KNEW (without question) that was going to be a mother. Biological. I knew I would nurture life within me and raise two or three little ones. I'm in my 40s now and that just isn't my reality. And while I am grateful for the many blessings God has given me, I would be lying if I pretended that

Recognizing the Hand of God

Happy new year!! It has been almost a year since my last blog post. Time flies! I have been feeling the compulsion to write again, so here it goes. Disclaimer: This is not a request for sympathy. It is, however, a statement of received clarity. On Sunday, December 29, 2019, I was ordained along with six other amazing individuals. As momentous as that event was, I felt the weight of it on my shoulders in a way that I was not anticipating. The calling is heavy. The mantle is heavy, but not burdensome. I know that because the Lord said that His yoke is easy and his burden is light ( Mt. 11:28-30 ). But while I was feeling the weight of the assignment, there was another weight. This one was heavy and burdensome...almost crushing. It disturbed my sleep the night before and broke my concentration several times throughout the ordination service and ceremony. This weight was the weight of certain people's displeasure at my elevation. There are those who, while they won't say it