An Inconvenient Christianity

Well, we are now a full four days into Lent and I have been convicted a million (only a slight exaggeration) times. In fact, I have been refusing to blog because I knew I would have to blog about these convictions. If you all could see all of the other drafts I have saved, you would shake your heads and tsk at me. I write post after post (or at least begin them) and then end up saving them because I do not have the release to post it.  Somehow, they didn't feel authentic. The whole time, however, the Holy Spirit was whispering to me what I should post. He even used the voice of my dearest friend who gently said to me "You will have to be more transparent as you go further into ministry." I balked at that. Ministry?! I was surprised by the use of that word. And convicted. Surprised because that word has come up several times in the past few months and weeks. Convicted because I cannot honestly say I've been treating everything I do in service of the King as minis

So...Adele's song Rolling In The Deep has been on repeat in my head since Monday morning when I watched her Grammy performance on YouTube (I just couldn't bring myself to watch the live broadcast). Her voice is amazing, but the lyrics gripped me. Actually, just one line: "We could've had it all." Truth be told, the only thing on repeat in my head is that one line. But I couldn't figure out why...then this morning it hit me. I'm not hearing "We could've had it all." Instead, I'm hearing " You could've had it all." Suddenly, I felt like the lazy servant in the Parable of the Talents (see Matthew 25:14-30). In the parable, a man was going on a journey and he called his servants together to give them some responsibility during his absence. Based on ability, to one servant he gave five talents, to a second he gave two talents and to the last he gave only on. While the man was away, the servant who had received five talents wo

First, let me apologize for my extended absence. I went out of town for some very important business. I opted to drive, rather than fly. So I gassed up my car, tapped in the address on my GPS and headed out. The purpose of GPS is guide you to your destination. All I had to do was follow the clear audible instructions and I was all set. For the most part, I did that. I was following along perfectly so long as I agreed with the GPS. But as soon as we disagreed because I didn't think her route made sense, I went the way that I thought I should and not the way that the "GPS Lady" told me. The problem with that was that I was invariably wrong. I did this about three times and each time I would have to go back to "GPS Lady" and seek her wise counsel. She would realise my mistake, announce that she was "Rerouting" and direct me anew. As I drove, I couldn't help but think that my ability to listen to my GPS reflected my ability to listen to my spirit

Englebert Humperdinck made the song popular, but the author of Psalm 43 made it a statement of spiritual truth. Feelings are nothing more than just feelings. Yet, there are so many people whose actions are based solely on feelings. And their feelings are dictated by external circumstances. If things are going great (i.e. good job, stable family life, etc.), then they are helpful and happy-go-lucky. But if there is a bit of turmoil, their joie de vivre dies: The flowers have died There is no morning dew The crickets know no love songs And I feel so blue... And if left unchecked, those depressive feelings can be debilitating. In fact, I am experiencing that right now. The last (I mean, the absolute LAST) thing I want to be doing right now is blogging...let alone about Christianity. The truth is I feel like a fraud. Like the person who types these tough bits of Christian encouragement is some other woman... I like her and hope to be her some day, but right now I don't feel

An organisation to which I belong used to do a gift exchange for Christmas. Each member would have a few weeks to purchase something for the person whose name was randomly selected from a hat (or bag, whichever was closest). If I am not mistaken, we did this gift exchange for about four years before abandoning the idea. Not one year went by without there being some fuss because inevitably at least one person would get a gift that in no way compared to the one s/he purchased. The leader of my organisation went as far as to impose a monetary maximum AND minimum on the value of the gift, all in an effort to avoid the hurt feelings at the time of the exchange.  Not even that worked. The night always ended with some bickering and complaining. "Look at this cheap thing that I got!" or "Do you know how much time I spent looking for the perfect gift for my person and this is all I get?!" or "Was this supposed to be for me?" People's feelings were hurt a

Ever been outnumbered and overruled? You know that you know that you know the right thing to do, but it seems like the majority is against you. They make every effort to convince you that your position is wrong. Before long, if you're not careful you'll be second-guessing yourself and worse yet....God Not so with Joshua and Caleb in Numbers 13. You know the story: 12 men (one from each tribe of Israel) were sent by Moses to scout the land of Canaan. When they came back Caleb reported that the land was ripe for the taking. But the other men resisted. They complained saying, "And we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight" (v. 33). Talk about a defeatist mentality. Caleb must have felt all by himself in that situation. Even with Joshua standing with him, it could not have been easy to hold his convictions in the face of such opposition. My pastor mentioned read thi

When I started this week, the name Mark Herzlich meant little and less to me. Then yesterday morning, his story was featured on MSNBC's Morning Joe. Herzlich is a rookie linebacker for the New York Giants who was diagnosed with Ewing's Sarcoma, a rare form of bone cancer in 2009 and told that he may never run again, let alone play football. Yet, he walked off a plane this week in Indianapolis with his team to prepare to play in Sunday's big game. The feature went on to describe how Herzlich could have opted for the less painful and easier surgical solution of of removing the femur-sized tumour. Instead, he chose to endure the pain of 16 arduous months of chemotherapy and physical training because it would give him the best shot at being able to play football again. And now he is center-stage at  the biggest event of his career, cancer-free. Inspiring story. It brought tears to my eyes just watching the piece on the television. It also brought conviction to my heart. Am I

I first heard a song called Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos as a freshman in college. The chorus was haunting and stuck with me. Even now, almost 17 years later, without actually playing the song, I can still hear Tori's voice singing: " These little earthquakes/Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces. " It still makes me think, just as it did the first time I heard it. " Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces. " I feel like that sometimes. Oddly enough, I find that I'm not afraid of the full frontal attack of the enemy. There are certain areas in which I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that Satan cannot get me to stumble wittingly no matter what He may try.  Those "major" sins are no match for a SuperChristian like me. I stand on the Word and I know in whom I have believed and I am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day (see 1 Tim 1:12). Ah, but those little earthquakes... If you'

Have you ever been in a situation where you know the Lord is telling you to do something, but to your human mind it makes no sense? I have been there (see my previous post). And being in that situation is troubling. There is no doubt in your mind as to what you must do, but it just does not make sense. In this day and age, we are bombarded with teachings that would have us believe that when God wants us to do something, He swings the doors and windows of opportunity wide open, lays down a red carpet for us and lines the path with neon signs pointing us in the right direction. And we get to a point that if we don't see all of that, we begin to question God's will and seek to ask for confirmation after confirmation. We might even get to the point of asking for specific signs a la Gideon and the fleece (see Judges 6:11-17, 36-40). But what if we were to act just because that is what God would have us do?  Consider Abram (later Abraham) and Sarai (later Sarah). Genesis 12:1-8 g

Hello all, First let me thank you for taking the time to read this. I thank God for you as well because without readers like you, this would be my own personal online journal... Let me tell you a little bit about myself (I suspect I will reveal more as this blog progresses). Like I wrote in my profile, I am not a wife nor a mother. At one point in my life, I aspired to those things, but now I aspire solely to do the will of my Heavenly Father. That being said, the idea for this blog came to me in October of 2010. I was freshly unemployed and searching for what next to do with my life. Being educated as an attorney, I kept looking for work in the legal profession and praying that God would open another door for me. But....ever since I was in the single-digit ages, I've known that my calling was to be a writer. My objection was always that writing won't feed me or pay my bills. So as I prayed and asked God what path he wanted me to take, this idea for living my Christian