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Anniversary

*Sorry, didn't plan for this one to be so long! I need to turn my soapbox into kindling.

Today is my parents' 45th wedding anniversary. I would like to say they've enjoyed 45 years of wedded bliss, but that would make me a liar. Like every other couple, they had their ups and downs....but through it all, they stuck by each other. The sole reason for that is their undying commitment to God.



From as far back as I can remember, my parents have clung to the belief that marriage is honourable and divorce was not an option. Growing up, I always believed that too, but I also believed that my future marriage might end in divorce because of life's circumstances (whatever they might be).

It was not until I reached adulthood, that I gained the spiritual insight to see that my parents' dogged tenacity (is that redundant?) when it comes to their vows was more than a staunch refusal to walk out on the marriage. Their commitment to each other is a direct reflection of their commitment to Christ.

The Bible likens this Christian journey to (among other things) a marriage (see Eph. 5:25) and takes great pains to explain how husbands and wives ought to treat one another. Ultimately, it boils down to Christ being our example.  Christ Himself gave His life for us...even when we didn't know Him and wanted nothing to do with Him. Therefore, we ought to treat our marriage partners in the same manner.

If thought that was inconvenient, wait until you read this:

By logical extension, the way Christians operate in their marriages is the same way they operate in their Christianity. And the way Christians treat their spouses is the same way they treat Christ. So if a Christian believes there exists a set of circumstances in which they would break their marriage vows and walk away from their partner forever, then I posit to you that there exists a set of circumstances in which that same Christian would walk away from Christ.

Now you might be thinking that I have overly complicated the situation. What about those very real reasons for divorce? Surely, Christ would never be guilty of those so it's not exactly the same, is it? Let's see...

The top reasons for divorce are unfaithfulness, abuse, growing apart and abandonment:

  • Unfaithfulness - there is no dispute that Christ would never be unfaithful to us. But if we look beyond the physicality of unfaithfulness, we can better see where we might lay this charge at Christ's feet. The underlying factor is the betrayal of trust.
    • If we are depending on Christ to act in one way and He acts in another, our trust can be shaken. But we oftentimes impose our own standards on Christ and He seldom acts like we think He should. And we feel like we can't trust Him. So we leave.
  • Abuse - there is no dispute that Christ would never be abusive to us. But if we look beyond the surface, we can better see where we might lay this charge as Christ's feet.
    • If we acknowledge that He is in control, but it seems like we are beset on all sides by problem after problem, and trial after trial and disappointment after disappointment, Christ can seem to us like an abusive lover. So we leave.
  • Growing apart - this one is a little easier to see. People grow apart when they don't take time to get to really get to know one another and don't spend time together and don't pursue the same things. So if we aren't pursuing what Christ pursues, we grow apart. So we leave.
  • Abandonment - we know that He will never leave us or forsake us. But when we are going through those most difficult of times and we can't seem to feel Him near, we feel abandoned. So we leave.
Marriage is a serious thing, not to be taken lightly. I thank God that my parents lived out an inconvenient Christianity in front of my siblings and me. 

May we all show tenacious commitment to our marriage partners, current or future. And above all, may we all show tenacious commitment to Christ.
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  1. UnknownJuly 18, 2012 at 6:09 PM

    So many couples marry for various reasons. Marriage today is not like it was in Grandma n Grandpa days and its very sad. The same energy that was used to join a couple together should be the same energy used to keep it together. but in todays society "walking out" is the new trend..

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